On the phone today, I ask what her plans are for the weekend.
Instead of a coherent reply, I hear "ow, damn it, I just fingered myself"
well, that's awkward.
After laughing at her own hilarity, she says, "No, I mean, I just nailed myself"
omg Mom! seriously!?
She gouged herself in her own palm with her fingernail.
Still. Words you should hope to never hear from your mother are "I just fingered myself" or "I just nailed myself"
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