Camera 3

I'm going to channel Jon Stewart for just a minute because I have something very important to say....

Weather, meet me at camera 3.


Seriously, weather?  This is how you're behaving in the middle of what's-supposed-to-be winter?!  It's the end of January and we've only gotten a dash, pinch, and sprinkling of snow.  You do realize this is Montana, right?  We're supposed to be up to our ears in snow by now.  If not ears, at least ankles.  And instead of 50's, the temps are supposed to be BELOW ZERO, keeping snow in it's place on the ground instead of sublimating what's left of the ice on my yard.
While I know the skiers are bound to be frantic and likely having breakdowns due to no snow on their favorite hills, there's something more important to consider here.  Think of the trees!  Think of all the little forest critters, damn it!  Because, if this is how you're going to act, weather, come summer, all the trees are going to self-combust by mid-June when the sun thinks of even winking at them.  They'll just stand there, gasping for some kind of precipitation, and see the sun coming up over the peaks and throw up their limbs in despair, giving in to the inevitable--fire, smoke, and death.  All the poor little forest critters who live among the dehydrated trees will have to run far, far away--probably into town, because they can't go anywhere else, and then people will run them over or shoot them because people are assholes.
Is that what you want, weather?  Do you want the trees to commit suicide and the critters to get run over?  Because from the way you're acting, that's what's going to happen.
So get your shit together and sky poo on us already!  I've grown up enough now to appreciate winter for what it is--a season lasting 4-9 months where I get fucking cold and everything looks white and pretty.  So stop being a self-indulgent asshole, weather, and get your act straight.
Montana.  January.  Sub-zero temperatures.  A couple feet of snow.  Ice-covered roads.  People getting into accidents because they don't know how to drive.  Shoveling every day in my Uggs and mittens, scarf and hat to stay warm.
Do it!  Damn you, make it white and icy and cold and winter, weather!