Jobs. A couple months ago, a good friend of mine told me about a job opening that might be coming up this summer--a temporary, full-time position that (I thought she said) had to do with document scanning. In my last two jobs, I've done that. I'm pretty competent at it. So I thought, hey, maybe I should apply for the job. Especially since I know the people in the office and we've worked together in the past.
Then she suggested I contact her co-worker, who was my internship supervisor when I was in school. We had a good working relationship then (and it's how I met my friend), so I e-mailed him today.
...And now I'm freaking out.
It turns out the job is full-time permanent. And, from the bit he mentioned, it's got to do with mapping.
I LOVE maps. Seriously, if I could study a new map every day, it'd be the best thing ever.
But, I was hoping for a part-time job. I'm so fucked up in my head after everything that happened at the former job. I'm afraid of going into another office environment and getting the same treatment from different people. I'm scared that if I stay too long, people will start to get sick of me, act like a bully, or just have a bitchy attitude again.
This time, I know going in, to not pretend to be comfortable talking to people. I don't want people to get offended because I suddenly want to be quiet--I have to be quiet going in.
And the GIS aspect scares the living daylights out of me, because it makes the job something that I probably won't be able to do at all, so, fuck.
So either I can do the job (with help in the beginning) and I'm back in a setting where I'm scared shitless. Or I can't do the job, I'm not qualified enough, so I get turned down, again, for another job.
I'm going to go cry, throw up, or have a panic attack now.
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